Yukinoshita Yukino's Solution
by Estavius
Summary: Upon suggestion, the second genre has been changed from friendship to horror.


**I suppose I should give a fair warning: unlike most other fanfictions currently being produced, this fanfiction takes place in a time skip within the first volume, somewhere between chapters three and five or so.**

Yukinoshita Yukino's Solution

Where was I?

It was dark, that much I could see.

It was silent, bar the slight whir of machinery.

It was familiar; I could detect a faint whiff of lime… oddly reminiscent of the special building.

It was strange, because my mouth was clogged by what could only be described as a gag.

To top it all off, I was tied up, which I knew from the course restraints I felt all over.

So really, the five senses weren't that useful after all. Maybe I'd awaken the mysterious power hidden in my right hand and dispel the gloom that shrouded the area? Fat chance of that happening. I struggled with the bonds, but to no avail. No matter how hard I wiggled, I could never displace myself from my original position.

According to my possibly flawed sense of direction, I was most likely upright, because blood _wasn't_ rushing all to my head. To add onto that, no matter how hard I stretched, there was nothing in range of any of my limbs except the wall I was tied to, not even the ground was within my reach.

Then, with a dazzlingly bright rush of white brilliance, the lights flickered on and blinded my eyes, accustomed as they were to the darkness. When the spots finally faded away, I glanced around as far as my restrained neck could. The room was draped in a pure snow white, from the ropes to the walls to even my clothes. I didn't own a white dress shirt; did someone undress and redress me?

To further those observations, I was bound to a cross that hung from the ceiling, attached by strong-looking white fixtures, barely hovering off the ground. A number of similarly coloured tools lay in an open box to the side, the only other objects in the otherwise barren room.

No really, where was I?

This didn't seem like a joke; for someone to set up a facility like this, it must've been expensive. Surely they didn't rob a church for these… accessories.

No wait; I was bound to a cross? Did that mean I was going to be crucified? Could this possibly be the end of my rather short trauma-filled and mostly displeasing life?

As I contemplated though, a door emerged from the wall, where it had once been seamlessly connected. Framed in that white door frame was a face that had become oh-so-familiar in the recent past.

"So you're awake." She said calmly.

It was Yukinoshita Yukino, robed in the same pure white that the rest of the room was smothered in. Rather than a school uniform, perhaps the only thing I'd ever seen her in, she wore a snow white dress which showed a stark contrast to her silky black hair. She strode up to my hanging body, ripped a soggy white cloth from my mouth, and tossed it through the still open door, the only visible exit to the room.

"What's this?" I demanded. Yukinoshita had no restraints, no limitations or straps, so this was most likely her doing. She silently swung the door to a close, leaving no indication that there was ever one.

"It is yet another one of the service club's activities. Today, I will fix the problem that has plagued you for many years on end." Yukinoshita drawled on.

"What problem?" I snapped at her. Being tied up was perhaps not the best influence on my mood.

"Your expression." Yukinoshita smiled transiently, as if she had just stated the solution to world peace and prosperity.

"And tying me up here will solve this so-called 'problem'?" I asked dully.

"Of course, otherwise I wouldn't have gone through the trouble of stringing you up."

So Yukinoshita had, in fact, been the one to… tie me to the cross. Wasn't she taking my facial expressions a bit harshly? Why was she smiling so contentedly while coldly stating the purpose behind my capture?

"So what's your solution?" I asked again.

It was clear that Yukinoshita had lost it; in a situation like this it would be better to find out one's fate before it inevitably happens. Of course, one could argue that it'd be better to leave the possibly gruesome fate as a victim of torture as an unknown, but that'd be deluding one's self. In the end, for a pessi- _realist_ , knowing their true fate can only be a pleasant surprise.

"First, I will need to rid you of those dead fish eyes. They're an awful sight to see on a daily basis and for them to remain in my field of vision for the better part of two hours, for five days a week, is a horrible offense."

Yep, she's lost it. But why, just why was Yukinoshita smiling so much? Did this entertain her? Was she a sadist?

"Are you serious?" I said incredulously.

"Don't worry, it won't hurt much." Yukinoshita rummaged through the white box of tools. "My apologies, I have discovered that my stash of anesthetic has run out. Unfortunately, this will hurt a lot."

Anesthetic? Was Yukinoshita seriously planning on… gouging out my eyes?

"Why are you taking out a pair of pliers?" I asked yet another question. Those pliers, although similarly coloured like everything else in the room, looked strangely sinister in the pure white light.

"No, not good enough." Yukinoshita muttered. "I'll have to do it myself." With that, Yukinoshita slowly closed the gap between us once more, taking one slow step at a time.

"And what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to tear your eyes out, one by one, and replace them with a glass eye that will look considerably less dead, despite not truly being a living eye. It's quite pleasant actually." Yukinoshita explained lightheartedly. "You may experience blindness, but I assure you, it is worth it."

A voice inside of my head told me that Yukinoshita was serious. It seemed she really intended to rip my eyes out. Was she at least going to replace it with a golden eye to seal my powers in? Knowing her, probably not.

"Wait wait wait." I stammered. "I thought you said it was my facial expression, not my face that was the problem." Yukinoshita tilted her head ever so slightly, an act that was strangely cute despite the person herself having recently announced a will to tear my eyes out.

"Well yes, naturally you'll also get plastic surgery in order to shift your facial structure into a permanent smile." Yukinoshita's own smile widened with these words. "No need to thank me, but I've already paid for a plastic surgeon to come in. However, I will be performing the eye replacement _myself_."

As far as I knew, Yukinoshita Yukino was not a trained medical professional. So why was it that she was fingering a pair of pliers? Again, drawing on the little I knew about her and the sciences, pliers were not proper tools for surgery.

"Don't worry, it'll be quick." Yukinoshita came to a stop in front of me, mere decimeters away.

"Yukinoshita, don't." I warned.

"Again, my sincere apologies for not having anesthetic." Yukinoshita said slowly, before reaching her hand up to my eye level. "I would like to ask that you open your eyes as wide as possible and do not move in order to make this as efficient as possible."

With that, Yukinoshita gently touched my eyelids with three fingers. She paused, as if contemplating something. What was up with that pose? Was Yukinoshita going to reveal that we were actually siblings and steal my eyes for eternal sight?

"Yukinoshita, I- AGH!"

Yukinoshita ripped into my orbit and used her fingers to claw out my eyeball, which sent shivers of pain shooting through my body. I might've convulsed had I not been tied down thoroughly. In the fleeting glimpses I had through the horrible horrible pain, I saw red squirt across the room, drenching Yukinoshita's pale figure in a deep scarlet _rouge_.

I screamed, yet Yukinoshita made no move in front of me to calm my outburst.

"That's why I told you not to move." Yukinoshita reprimanded calmly, as blood dripped down her face. "Don't worry, the next one will hurt just as much, but the suffering you feel right now will be comparable, so you know how it'll feel."

Was that any form of condolence at all? It burned, like salt on a gaping wound and my nerves were wailing at my brain. I screamed again, for help, for aid, for relief, for an end to the torture that was caused by the hands of a cutely smiling bloodstained high school girl.

…

"Aggh!" I cried out.

"H-hikki!" Yuigahama looked visibly shocked, and stumbled backwards.

I-I could see? I tenderly touched my eye; it was there. I hadn't lost it in a sick attempt at kindness. I could almost cry from relief.

"W-what was that?" Yuigahama demanded. I stared at her, and glanced around the room. Yukinoshita sat at her usual perch near the window, and sent a few concerned looks this way.

"A d-dream." I stuttered. Yuigahama looked at me quizzically. Did she not believe me?

"Then why were you screaming? Was it a… NIGHTMARE? What happened?" Yuigahama asked in rapidfire.

"Yukinoshita was…" I trailed off, realizing that the person herself was most definitely paying attention at this point.

"You were dreaming of… Yukinon?" Yuigahama went silent and merely glanced off to the side, refusing eye contact.

"I w-"

"Disgusting." Yukinoshita herself interrupted. "I do not know what exactly you were dreaming of, but like your life aspirations, you should just forget it all immediately."

"Hey hey hey, just because Japanese society dictates that men should work long hours doesn't mean they have to. Haven't there already been three waves of feminism over the past two centuries? Moreover, why are you assuming that your role in my dream was something of a lewd nature?"

"L-lewd…" Yuigahama muttered, face flushed. Geez, if you're flustered then you're going to make the rest of us blush too y'know?

At the same time, Yukinoshita shrunk back, covering her nonexistent chest. Was there even a point in that? It's not as if there was anything noticeable anyway.

"Hikigaya-kun, I never stated the words 'lewd', nor did I say anything along the lines of 'perverted'. I merely said disgusting, which does not explicitly imply sexual content. If you wouldn't mind closing the door on your way out, that would be preferable. Otherwise, I believe I can shut the window after you descend."

"Isn't that a logical fallacy right there?" I pointed out. "Like how I made the assumption that disgusting meant perverted, you're making the assumption that because I made my assumption, that my assumption was made under the pretense of an attempt to deny an assumption you've made."

"W-what?" Yuigahama cried out.

"If you understand that, is it really that difficult to realize that those words you just said apply to your own scenario? Again, I never stated that your misunderstanding was related to your dream. Are you not the one who keeps forming these connections? Why are you so quick to deny any correlation without anyone previously accusing there to be any?"

I opened my mouth to make a counterargument, but under the pressure of Yukinoshita and Yuigahama's joint stares, I gave up. There was no point arguing for something like this; it was only a waste of time and effort. I certainly couldn't prove either side true without talking about that… nightmare, so it was a no go there as well.

"I'll go buy myself a drink." I said aimlessly and shuffled out the door.

"Hikigaya-kun." The frigid voice called yet again and prompted me to look back into that despicable nearly empty classroom. "I'll have what I had yesterday. Also, I believe your short term memory isn't impaired, even if your eyes are."

What was she… oh. The door. I _gently_ closed it, because who knows what Yukinoshita would say if I slammed it. Would she compare me to an immature pouting child? Maybe. And what was with that entitlement? Yukinoshita still owed me a hundred yen. Besides that, did she have to make that final jab about my eyes? I had perfect vision, thank you very much. Ah, there was no winning against such an entitled sore loser.

Still, even if she verbally assaulted me on a daily basis, at least I knew Yukinoshita wouldn't pry my eyeballs out of my orbits to replace them with glass ones, nor would she perform plastic surgery to force me into a perpetual smile.

Or would she?

 **And so his and her story continue to be out of character. Hahaha** **kill me now** **.**

 **On another note, apparently the club room smelled like lime? I'm not exactly sure why, since at that point in the books they weren't drinking tea. Maybe it was used as a scent or ingredient for a cleaning product? Meh, I may never know.**

 **Also, orbits are what most people call eye sockets.**


End file.
